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I never thought it would happen to me
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TOPIC: I never thought it would happen to me
#594
I never thought it would happen to me 1 Year, 10 Months ago Karma: 0
I am 19 and a student at University. Last month I was spiked at a bar and taken outside of the Town i lived in by two men. One of them was 40 and the other 23. I think i was raped but i know they touched me sexually. I was out watching my flat mate play in his band ‘Highly strung’. He asked me to go and I felt bad as no one else was watching him so I went on my own to give him some support. It was at a bar called the office in town. After an hour or so decided to treat my self to a glass of wine, I was having a really nice time just chilling on my own listening to the band. I met two other girls from Manchester who asked me to dance with them. They were really bubbly girls, early twenties and seemed really funny. I stayed with them dancing for the rest of the night and we swapped phone numbers and said we should meet up sometime next time their in Carlisle. However half way through the night I noticed a guy who I knew from working at walkabout. I remember him as ‘the six pack guy’ can you believe he gets paid for walking around my old work topless selling shots just because he has a six pack!Anyway as I was at the bar he nodded me over and said hello, we chatted for a while and he said to come back and speak to him for a bit. We mainly talked about martial arts ‘typical for me’ and then a fight broke out at the bar between two men and he chucked one of them out, which is when he told me he was one of the deputy managers there. I asked the lady at the bar what his name was and found he was called ‘Steven’. After chatting about judo and Steven telling me he did boxing and body building he told me he was going to walkabout my old work and asked me to join him, I said no because I was there to watch my flat mate and wanted to stay till the end. Then out of no where he grabbed me and snogged me! Then he left! I thought it was slightly random but I was extremely flattered and flushed and went back to the girls to tell them what happened. By this point id had about four glasses of wine but over the space of four and a half to five hours which is not a lot to get me drunk for me. All night I felt in control I did feel slightly giggly but never once did I feel I didn’t know what I was doing. I’d had a great night and was meant to be meeting my flat mate Aiden after work to catch a taxi back with him as he worked in a bar across the road called ‘Outrageous’. The girls said they’d come with me to meet him and stay for a drink as it’s normally open till 4am. However on the way we got side tracked and thought it would be fun to nip In walkabout but when we got there it was closed, that’s how I knew it was half two as that’s when Walkabout always closes. So the next bar along was ‘Time bar’ so we nipped in there on the way. We went to the bar and guess who I bumped in to? Steven! I had no idea he’d be in there but we started chatting again and I remember buying him a drink and standing at the bar, then … BLACKOUT! I don’t know what happened I completely blacked out, it was almost like I’d just fell sleep or been knocked out and then when I came back round I had no idea what was going on. I thought what’s happening? I was perfectly fine before and at most had five glasses of wine that’s one an hour so why is this happening? I remember when I came back round to what ever just happened I was standing with Steven and there was a much older looking man hanging around us who I assumed to be his friend. Throughout the night these black outs kept happening much more quickly on, off, on, off like a light switch and I felt really disorientated. The girls I don’t remember being around later on and all I kept seeing was Steven and this strange man hanging around. All I remember after that is a man’s voice I assume was Steven saying ‘Are we going back to mine or yours?’ I can’t remember at this point where I was but I remember saying I had to go meet my friend Aidan and go home. But then after that was another BLACKOUT. When I came back round I was in someone’s house. I have no recollection of getting there and no idea why I was there. I remember seeing Steven on the settee and when I looked over the wierd older man from earlier was there. Why? Then BLACK OUT again! When I came round I was lying on the floor, I felt like I couldn’t move my body and I felt really confused and disorientated, and why was I on the floor? When I looked in front of me there was Steven holding my head and kissing me. At first I thought ok how did I get from the bar to here maybe I was really drunk? Why didn’t I remember saying I’d come here? After a while I felt a hand begin to touch me down below. I seemed to be realising what was happening in such slow motion but it was so wierd everything was slow motion. I assumed this hand was Steven’s, it really felt like he was touching me aggressively! I turned to lok behind me to see a pair of legs on the floor behind me. I looked up it was the weird man from earlier! That’s when I realised, it wasn’t Steven touching me down below it was him. As I began to realise what was happening I tried to push the man away but then I Blacked out. It felt like id been gone for a while and when I came back round it was still happening. Steven was holding me on the floor while this man was touching me really aggressively and it started to hurt, I tried to push his hand away again beginning to realise for a split second again what was happening, but then I blacked out again! These black outs seemed to last for longer periods of time than before. The next time I came back around I remember a man’s voice saying ‘have you ever had a threesome?’ I remember saying No! That’s all I remember, at that point I completely blacked out and I have no idea what happened to me. It was so strange; I woke up in the morning thinking I was in my flat. I had no idea what had happened I didn’t even have any recollection of going out at all that night. I turned round to see Steven lying behind me on the sofa. Then I remembered the gig and the kiss in the office. I thought where am I? Surely I didn’t go back with him I couldn’t have been that drunk I didn’t drink that much. Then I remembered the two girls and seeing Steven in ‘Time bar’ I still remember thinking why did I not meet Aidan? Why am I not home? I began to here people in the house moving around up stairs. I had no idea what had happened that night with Steven and the strange man at this point. Steven woke up and told me to go upstairs with him I think because his house mates were up. I was so confused and I just did what he said I daren’t say anything. I saw my bra lying on the floor on the way upstairs, I looked down but realised I was fully dressed. I thought, that’s odd, why is my bra off? why do I have all my other clothes on but my bra? I think they had actually tried to dress me after having sex or trying to have sex with me when i wasn't Conscious, which makes me feel sick! I was still feeling really odd and just went back to sleep upstairs still trying to work out what was going on. When I woke up I felt so weird, I asked Steven where I was, he said ‘your in Currick’ I asked him if that was near my Uni and he laughed and said ‘no, no where near there’. He’d took me outside of Carlisle I can’t believe it! ‘How did I get here?’ I asked him. He said ‘Taxi’. I told him I didn’t remember. I laid there a while and felt him trying to touch me down below. I felt pain around the top part of my private parts and then wondered why he was doing this. I thought maybe I did just go back with him and was drunk and fell sleep and that’s why he want’s to do this now? I just layed there I let him do it, I just felt all over the place, I must still have the affect of what ever drug i had been given in me. I was scared that I couldn’t remember and I didn’t know what to do or say so I just laid there. I went to the toilet after feeling alot of pain in my vagina and then slowly i started to flash back to what had happened. That was the scary part beginning to remeber when your still in the attackers house. i was shaken but tried to act ok. I asked him to call me a taxi as i didnt know where i was. That morning he gave me a false name and left me with no contact details, nothing. I didnt really understand exactly what had happened to me for a day or two. Two days later is the first tome i told a flat mate of mine. I was then taken to hospital and they called the police for being spiked and suspected rape. After hours and hours of interviews and examinations by a police doctor the men have now been arrested. I now i just have to wait to see if i have enough evidence for the court to run the case. ive re dreamt what happened so much councilling helps but i still cant sleep. I think mentally this is such a hard thing to move on from and it's sad to think this is a common thing going on all over the UK and there are men out there still walking the streets who have and do this. I found alot of these cases don't make it to caught and alot of women dont even tell anyone. I hope my story can help people see how careful you must be to avoid this happeneing because it's so hard to erase something like that out of your memory. I also hope if this has happened to anyone reading this please please speak out.

Kat x
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#595
Re:I never thought it would happen to me 1 Year, 10 Months ago Karma: 0
Hello Kat
I’m sorry you’ve had this experience and thank you for sharing it; I know how difficult that can be.
My only advice to you would be to, give yourself time, don’t keep this a secret from the people closest to you and allow yourself to be loved and cared for by others.
I hope you find some peace soon
Take care & big hugs
Linda
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#596
Re:I never thought it would happen to me 1 Year, 9 Months ago Karma: 0
Kat,

OMG, I am so sorry to hear what you have been through. I couldn't breath as I read about that awful night!! You did nothing wrong!! How could you have done anything differently? Its just so unfair!! I hope they are caught because if he was that confident to take you outside of the Carlise and abuse you with another man he has blatantly done it before and is high risk!!! When it happened to me I rang his workplace to let them know what type of man they wer employing. I gave the police reference number. I know that you need to focus on healing but in the meantime I would contact his work and let them know what happened because in the job he does he has access to so many vulnerable women.

I wish you well!! Wendy
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#784
Re:I never thought it would happen to me 10 Months ago Karma: 0
ok so im 20 now and after writing in 12months ago September 2010 was my court case. The charge was for sexual assault and penetration.It was awful but i got to be videoed in Separate room so i didn't have to see the men. the case went on for a week and they said they had enough evidence to prove one of them was lying as there stories didn't match but could't prove which one! They got away with it. They will be on police records now but i couldn't believe it. But im glad i went ahead with it because i felt whatever happens i can move on from it when its over. i broke down still only a week ago as a saw him in his work and i now suffer from really bad anxiety and currently im on medication. But im glad i went through with it.

kat x
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