I was raped last night.

My son was off for a sleep over at a friends, so I decided to go out and check out karaoke night at one of the local pubs.

It was pretty dead. Not that many people. It was pretty hot in there though, so after one of my games of pool, I went out to the back alley to have a cigarette. Something I had done so many times before.

Next thing I know, I was grabbed from behind and pulled to the ground. Face down. I never saw his face. All I heard was his voice. Low and gravelly. So fucking savage!

That fucker then picked me up, pushed me against a wall and ripped my pants down. He fucking sodomized me. Left me torn and bleeding. And never once did I see his face. I will never forget his voice. Telling me how I knew I wanted it as I was crying out.

Then, when he was done, he said to me "Have a good evening". He was fucking smart though. He made sure he didn't fucking cum in me. He did that on the ground. I could hear him grunt and heard it hit the ground.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!

The one night that I DIDN'T have my knife on me!!!! Fucking fucker!!!!

My emotions right now....fuck!! All I feel is absolute terror and a murderous rage. I keep switching between the two.

That's absolutely horrible Ayla. Terrible. I have no words for this and it almost make me cry. Often in this type of situations it is someone that you know or someone that knows you. The father of your sons friend, do you know him? Is he black? Did you win with pooling? If there's a winner, there's also a loser. Just thinking for you here.

I wish you all the best. Please call 911.

Well to be honest I went there to meet my husbands friend and yes he is a colored man. Me and my husband have been fighting a lot recently, usually when he comes home drunk after his stop at the strip club near his work. His friend called me from the bar they were at to warn me he was all fired up after he didn't get his promotion.

I waited and waited eventually I said to myself "I'm going out", the neighbors daughter came over to babysit after I was talking to her mom on the phone. They thought I should go out "for me". I called my husbands friend to let him know I was going out to sing at the karaoke bar and release my demons.

brb.. someone is at the door

I am so sorry about what happened to you!! Did you report it to the police. They could have collected evidence from the crime scene? In terms of emotional support this site is good but there is also an agency called RASAC (Rape & Sexual Abuse Service) who can be contacted on: 02086833311 Understandably you have a lot of anger about what happened and they will be able to help you to work through your feelings at your pace.

I wish you all the best! Try to stay strong & look after yourself! Call them today it makes the world of difference to talk to someone who understands what you have been through!!

Wendy